I wake up and my phone immediately goes off – buzz buzz, buzz buzz. It’s me calling. Nothing new there. I got a new phone after the car crash wrecked mine and just got one of those old flip phones without all the extras. It’s been so glitchy, but it gets the job done, I suppose. I have been sober for 97 days, living life better and simpler, and I’ve mostly got that crash to thank for it.

I answer: “Hello?”

It's my son Marlon: “Hey, Mom. Just wanted to say I love you!”

“Well, I love you, too, sweetheart! I’ll see you later today, okay? Muah!”

Click.

I haven’t seen my son in this whole time that JR and I have been apart. It’s a shame that today’s the day for our reunification, but I’m too excited to worry about that. I haven’t seen JR in this long either. I felt it was better this way, to keep my distance and to use the time during mine and JR’s official separation to work on myself so I can be the wife and mother I was before I started drinking. When I got in that car wreck, it didn’t feel like I had any choice. JR wanted to leave me. Marlon was ashamed to be in public with me. And when I ran that stop sign that I very nearly couldn’t even see (thanks, city, for keeping the trees trimmed down… NOT), I slammed right into somebody else – and thankfully, a new outlook. Thank God for forgiveness!

Excitement and forgiveness aside, I’ve got a funeral to get to. I was surprised when the other family didn’t press any charges against me, but when both drivers are buzzed, who’s really to blame? The state didn’t pick it up either because I got myself sober without any rehab or 12-step programs or anything. And, of course, the forgiveness.

I put on my best black dress and matching shoes. When did I get to be so big? I know you gain some weight when you quit drinking, but this feels like too much. At this rate, I’ll have to get some bigger clothes!

My phone buzzes again. It’s JR. “Look, I’ve been thinking… I love you with all of my heart, and nobody could ever replace you. But I think it’s about time we moved on. I’ve met somebody, and she’s just a friend, but I think I might be interested in where it could go. She’s great with Marlon and I think he really likes her, too. I’m sorry. You’ll always be the love of my life, but I have to figure this out.” Click.

What in the hell kind of game is he playing? Today, of all days, he has the nerve to leave me for someone else?! We’ve only been separated 3 months! If he thinks I’m showing up to that funeral without giving him the brunt of a full-blown scene, he’s got another thing coming! He didn’t even have the decency to let me say anything before he hung up! Now I’ve got a migraine, but I have to press on. Great, can’t find the ibuprofen. I’ll just have to deal with it. Good thing funerals are quiet.