THE WIZARDS OF OZ

THE WIZARDS OF OZ

‘Hello! Megan Parsons, of Parsons Productions, speaking. How can I help you?’

‘It’s me. I’m calling from Australia. You need to come here!’

‘I beg your pardon? Who is this?’

‘Oh, yes. It’s me. I mean I’m you. I’m Megan.’

‘What?’

‘I’m Megan Parsons. Somehow I’m able to phone myself! I think it’s something to do with this big stone. That’s what Shazza says, anyway.’

‘What are you talking about? Are you some kind of nutcase, or are you trolling me?’

‘No, no. I’m really you. It’s hard to explain. But you need to come to Australia. It’s important.’

She hung up. This was ridiculous. The phone rang again immediately. She looked at the caller ID. It was her own phone. That didn’t make sense. But the mystery got the better of her. She picked up.

‘Sorry,’ came the voice on the end of the line. ‘I realize this is all a bit confusing, and I didn’t explain myself very well. Oh, for heaven’s sake! I just said sorry! I’m turning into an Australian.’ The voice paused. ‘Okay, I need to explain properly. You know you and Brad are having trouble. You’ve been thinking about divorce.’

‘What?’

‘It’s true, isn’t it? I suppose I need to give you some proof. I know your private language with Brad. You know what you call his thing and what he calls yours. Romeo and Juliet.’

‘How did you know that? Nobody knows that!’

‘That’s right. Too personal. And it’s a long time since Romeo met Juliet, isn’t it? Too tired, and anyway you’ve stopped feeling close. You seem to be growing in different directions.’

‘What is this? Who are you?’

‘I told you. I’m you. It’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain. This has already happened to me, so I know how difficult it all is. About a month ago I got this mysterious phone call telling me I had to come to Australia. From myself. I didn’t believe it, but I was very convincing, at least enough to get me interested. Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but the upshot is that there’s this couple in Australia who are the world’s best marriage counsellors. You need to invite them to New York to help you and Brad. Otherwise, you know it’s just going to get worse and you’ll end up apart. And the terrible thing is that you really, really love Brad and he really really loves you, and you’d do anything to get it back the way it was when you were first together. I’m right, aren’t I?’

‘Yes, but we’ve been to counselling. It didn’t solve a thing. What am I saying? I’m starting to believe all this stuff.’

‘Happened to me, too. So just listen. You need to contact Sharon and Bruce MacAvaney and bring them to New York to help you. Believe me, they’re amazing. I’ll give you their contact details. They don’t have email, you’ll have to phone them. Oh, and phone reception is bad. If you can’t get through, write to them. I’ll give you their address. But you should be ok phoning.’

Megan wrote down the details. ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this,’ she said to herself. ‘This is nuts.’

‘Okay. I’m going to hang up now. But make sure you contact them. It’s more than your marriage at stake.’

To her eternal surprise, Megan found herself phoning the number she’d been given.

‘Bugarrup Motel. Sharon speaking.’

‘Is this Sharon MacAvaney?’

‘Yes, darl. That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.’

‘And you do marriage counselling?’

‘Oh, yes. Best counsellors in the world, I reckon. Are you local? You don’t sound it.’

‘I had you recommended to me. I might be willing to use your services.’

‘Good-oh. Where are you?’

‘I’m in New York.’

‘Sorry, I thought you said New York. Where are you?’

‘Yes, that’s right. New York. The U. S. of A.’

‘Jeez, that’s a long way away. I didn’t know we were that well known. News travels, doesn’t it?’

‘It sure does. Tell me, would you be willing to come to the States to see me?’ And in her mind she was saying to herself ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’

‘Oh, I dunno, darl. That’s a long way, and we couldn’t afford the airfares anyway.’

‘I’ll pay – for you and your husband. And for your accommodation while you’re here.’

‘What am I doing?’ she thought. ‘I’ve gone crazy!’

‘Oh, well. I’ll have to think about it.’ Her voice went muffled – she must have put her hand over the receiver. ‘Bruce! There’s this bird in America wants us to come to New York, all expenses paid!’

A muffled man’s voice said ‘Is she nuts?’

‘Shoosh! She’s listening!’

‘Well, I dunno. What about the motel?’

‘Oh, we could let Johnno look after it for a while. It’s quiet season, and he did it when we went down to Perth for two weeks.’

‘Well, yeah. I suppose we could. She said she’s paying?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, tell her yes. We could use a holiday. What the hell.’

And Sharon’s voice came back on the line. ‘Yeah, okay. I suppose we could do that. When would you want us? Lucky we’ve both got passports.’

‘How soon can you get here?’

‘Oh, Jeez, I dunno, darl. A couple of weeks, I suppose. Waddya reckon, Bruce? A coupla weeks?’

‘Nah, yeah. That sounds all right.’

‘Can you phone me back on this number when you’re ready?’

‘You’ll have to give it to me so I can write it down, darl. No caller ID on this phone.’ And she burst into peals of laughter.

And two weeks later, to the immense surprise of all parties concerned, Sharon and Bruce arrived in New York, tired and stiff from the journey. Megan sent an employee to collect them and take them to the hotel, with a message to phone her when they were settled.

Next day the phone in her office rang. It was Sharon. ‘We’re here and rested. When do you want to see us?’

‘How about today? I’ll send someone to get you.’

‘Yeah, all right. Do we have to dress up or anything?’

‘Oh, just standard professional dress, I guess. Nothing special.’

‘All right, darl. See you in a little while.’

They arrived in the slick, ultra-modern professional offices of Parsons Productions, looking very out of place. Sharon was wearing what she must have thought was professional wear. Bruce was in a rumpled black suit that didn’t fit him very well. His black shoes were worn and a little shabby, though he’d obviously tried hard to polish them to an acceptable level. Compared to the sleek professionals Megan saw every day, they looked like a couple of rubes. They seemed nervous and out of place and were gazing around themselves in wonder. Megan decided that if this was to get anywhere, she should try to make them comfortable.

‘Take a seat, both of you. Would you like some coffee?’

‘You wouldn’t have a cuppa tea, would you, love?’ said Sharon.

‘Um, tea. I don’t know. Eric!’ she called to her private secretary. ‘Do we do tea?’

‘I don’t know. I’ll find out.’

He was back in a moment. ‘Yes, we’ve got tea. Would you like me to make you some?’

‘Oh, thanks,’ said Sharon. ‘White, with two sugars? What about you, darl?’

‘Nah, yeah,’ Said Bruce. ‘I think I’ll have a coffee. Flat white. No sugar.’

‘What’s a flat white?’ asked Eric.

‘You know. Coffee with milk in it. Don’t you have that?’

‘That’s it? Nothing special? Cappuccino, espresso, macchiato, latte?’

Bruce looked uncomfortable. ‘Yeah, nah. Just coffee with milk in it.’

‘Okay,’ replied Eric, looking a little baffled. ‘Coming right up!’

‘Now, darl,’ said Sharon. ‘Can you tell us what this is all about? Why would you bring us all the way from Oz to America? Surely there are marriage counsellors in New York.’

‘Oz? I’m sorry?’

‘Australia. We call it Oz for short.’

‘Oh. Well you might not believe this. I can’t believe I’m doing this myself. I got a phone call from Australia telling me I had to bring you over here.’

‘Who from? We don’t know anyone over here.’

‘That’s the weird thing. It was from myself.’

‘Ooh, you hadn’t been on the piss or anything, had you, love?’

‘What?’

‘You hadn’t been drinking? Or snorting something strange? I hear that’s pretty common in New York.’

‘No. I don’t do that stuff. And I was stone cold sober.’

‘Ah, well. Then it’s pretty strange. How did you know it was you calling? Maybe someone was having a lend of you.’

‘What?’

‘A hoax. Having you on.’

‘No, it was me, all right. She knew things about me that nobody else knows. Personal, private things. Very private, if you know what I mean.’

Yeah, I think I get your drift. So what did she – you – say?’

‘Just that I had to get you over here to help with my marriage. And that I had to go to Australia. And she said something about standing next to a magic stone.’

A look of comprehension came across Sharon’s face. ‘Ah. That makes more sense. I know the stone you’re talking about. Big one, a bit out of town. There’s all kinds of stories about that stone. I wouldn’t say magic, but yeah, it’s pretty strange.’

‘Yeah,’ said Bruce. ‘Remember what happened with Dazza?

‘Yes, darl. And other stuff, too. The local mob reckon it’s got a spirit in it, and I’m not going to say they’re wrong.’

‘What’s this darl you keep saying?’ asked Megan. ‘I don’t get it.’

‘Term of affection, love. Short for darling. We shorten everything, don’t we Bruce?’

‘Too right. All the time. Or we make it longer. I’m usually Brucie to my mates. When I’m not Macca.’

‘So, this stone has some kind of properties, is that what you’re saying?’

‘Yeah. Pretty strange. Looks like it’s been working overtime this time, though.’

‘So how could I have called myself from there? It doesn’t make sense.’

‘Yeah, nah. You’re right. It doesn’t. But unless you were troppo or pissed at the time, it sounds like you did. Now, we’ve at least found why we’re here, you’d better tell us about you and you husband.’

Megan was about to speak when Eric came in with the drinks. Sharon picked up her tea and Bruce his coffee, and took a sip. A look of surprise came over both their faces, which they tried to conceal.

‘Something wrong?’ asked Eric.

‘Oh, no,’ replied Bruce. ‘Just not quite like what we have back home.’

‘And the tea?’ asked Eric.

‘Oh, very nice,’ replied Sharon, smiling a little guiltily. But Megan noticed that she drank no more of it; nor did Bruce drink his coffee.

Once Eric had left, Sharon got down to business. Megan could see she was the mover and shaker in the family, though it was fairly obvious that Bruce, though quiet, was by no means browbeaten by her. He exuded a sort of quiet confidence and smiled approvingly as Sharon spoke.

‘So, what’s the problem, darl?’

‘I don’t know. We seem to have drifted apart. We’re always so busy, we barely get the chance to speak to each other, we’re tired when we get home, and just crash. And we snap at each other. I know I do, and I feel really bad afterwards, but somehow I can’t find a way to apologize to him. And it’s been building up. I catch myself finding fault with him, never cutting him any slack. And it used to be so good. I still love him. He’s the best man I’ve ever met. But I’ve started to think maybe we should get divorced. If nothing else, because I’m bad for him – I don’t want to keep hurting such a good man.’ And her eyes started to mist up.

‘Hmm. How about in the bed department?’

‘Nothing. Nothing for months at a time. I think partly because we’re always tired, partly the disagreements and the fact that we never get the chance to talk.’ And now a tear rolled down her face. She sniffed and wiped it away.

‘Well, you’ve come to the right place, darl. Or we have. We’ll need to see Brad as well, of course – see how he feels about it.’

‘Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t told him about you. We’ve seen other counsellors with no results. I think he’s given up on counselling.’

‘Ah, but he hasn’t seen us, has he darl?’

‘Do you think there’s a chance?’

‘Better than a chance. A good chance. But I’ll talk about that later. Can we organise a time to see Brad?’

‘Well, he’s out of town today, but he’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll tell him tonight.’

‘See that you do. This is important. Don’t chicken out.’

They went back to the hotel. ‘What do you think?’ said Sharon. ‘Jeez, wound up like a clockwork toy. Did you see how she clenched her jaw all the time?’

‘Yeah. And kept tapping her fingers on her leg. All the time she was talking to us. But there’s hope. That tear was a good sign.’

‘Yeah, I think she really loves the guy. I hope he’s worth it. I’ve seen some prize bastards in my time, that women were head over heels in love with. He’d better be worth it.’

‘Well, we’ll see tomorrow – if she doesn’t lose her nerve. She was dressed up to the nines, wasn’t she?’

‘Yeah, like something out of The Devil Wears Prada. And I have a feeling she acts like that to her employees, too. A bit of a hard-faced bitch.’

‘Yeah, but I think it’s all a front. Inside she’s terrified. She acts driven.’

‘Yep. I think we’ve got our work cut out for us, but if Brad is a good bloke, then there’s a chance.’

‘Oh, and that ghastly cup of tea! What is it with Americans? Can’t they make a decent cuppa? That was undrinkable. Lukewarm and tasted like dishwater.’

‘The coffee was just as bad. Weak as piss. I couldn’t drink mine, either. I tried to be polite, but I couldn’t get it down – I would have chucked.’

‘Bruce!’

‘Sorry, darl, but I think we’re going to have trouble finding a decent cuppa while we’re here.’

That night Megan gathered her courage in both hands and confronted Brad. ‘I’ve met a couple of marriage counsellors who I think could help us. I know we’ve done it before, but I value this marriage, and I think it’s worth another try.’

Brad looked doubtful. ‘I don’t know. It’s never worked before. Why would it work now?’

‘I know. But these two are different. It’s a husband and wife team, and somehow I feel they could help us if anybody can. They’re Australian.’

‘What, a couple of cobbers from Down Under?’

‘Laugh if you want. I’ve met them, and I’m impressed.’

‘I’m willing to give it another try. I don’t know what’s gone wrong with us, but I do love you very much. I want this to work. But I’ll suspend judgment till I meet them.’

‘Tomorrow? At the office? Or here, in the apartment?’

‘Don’t they have an office of their own?’

‘No, they’ve just arrived from Australia.’

Really? Are you sure about these people?’

‘Yes. I want to give them a chance to see if they can help.’

‘Here, then. I don’t want our private lives spread all over the office. You know what a cut-throat place that is.’

‘Okay. I’ll call them and arrange it. Does ten o’clock sound okay?’

Next morning at ten Sharon and Bruce were conveyed to the apartment by a chauffeur attached to Parsons Productions. They walked in, looking around the huge set of rooms. Bruce whistled. ‘Very flash,’ he said. ‘Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.’

‘Shoosh, Bruce,’ whispered Sharon. ‘I can’t take you anywhere.’ But she was smiling, and he smiled in return.

Brad stood up and extended his hand. ‘I’m Brad – you’re Bruce?’

Bruce took his hand. ‘G’day, mate. Yeah, I’m Bruce, and this is Sharon, my wife.’

‘Good to meet you both,’ replied Brad. ‘Sit down, will you? Now, how do we start?’

‘Well, that’s up to you,’ said Sharon. ‘We’d like to get to know you a bit. What do you do for a crust?’

‘Sorry?’

‘What’s your job?’ replied Bruce. ‘What do you do for a living?’

‘I’m the president of Parsons Productions. Megan is the co-president.’

‘Okay. What do you do? What does the company do?’

‘We produce a range of hygiene products that are sold in supermarkets and drug stores across the United States.’

‘What do you mean hygiene products?’ asked Bruce.

‘You know. Feminine hygiene. Tampons, that kind of thing.’

Bruce blushed bright red. ‘Oh, well. Hygiene products. I see. I don’t think I’ll ask any more. And is the company successful?’

‘Oh, yes. Very successful. Very high turnover, very high profits.’

‘Is your work very stressful?’

‘Don’t ask. About as stressful as it can be. We’re up against big competitors and if we don’t keep ahead of the game we’d go under. And though we work all the hours God gives us, there never seem to be enough to cover everything that needs doing.’

‘Do you think this affects the marriage? Are you too tired when you get home to talk to each other or relax?’

‘Relax?’ He laughed bitterly. What’s that?’

‘Yes, I see. Do you ever take time off? Holidays?’

‘Hah!’

‘Well, I see at least part of the problem. You two never get to talk – you have no time, and when you do have time you’re too tired to talk to each other. No wonder you never get to sort out your problems. Disagreements, resentment, it all builds up from the smallest things. And grows if you never talk about it. You two need a holiday.’

‘Not possible. We can’t take a holiday. The business would lose money – possibly even collapse.’

‘How much is your marriage worth to you? Is it worth more than your business? That’s all I’ve got to say. What do you think, Bruce?’

‘Same. You two might as well start divorce proceedings right now if you’re not prepared to do anything about this. Think about it.’ He turned to Sharon. ‘That’s about it, I think. We need to leave them alone now. So they can work out what’s really important to them.’ He turned to Brad. ‘Nice meeting you, mate. Just one other question. Do you love your wife?’

‘What kind of question is that? Of course I do!’

‘Do you want to stay married to her?’

Brad looked at Megan. Really looked at her, for the first time in a long time.

‘Yes,’ he said, his voice a little husky. ‘Yes, I do.’

‘All right, then. I think that’s all for now.’ He turned to Sharon. ‘Are you ready to go, love?’

‘Yes, darl. Time to go. You two need time to talk. Thanks for seeing us.’ They moved to the door. Sharon turned around. ‘I think you two have a chance.’

Once they were gone, Megan said to Brad ‘Do you really love me? I had started to wonder.’

‘Yes. I hate the way things have been going lately. I want our marriage to work. I want to stay married to you. I still love you, and I wish we could get it back to the way it used to be.’

‘Me too.’

‘But – a holiday? How can we have a holiday? The business . . .’

‘Is just a business. Sharon asked the right question. What’s most important to us?’

‘But how could we arrange that? What happens if we come back and the company has collapsed?’

‘Then we build it up again. We did it once, we can do it again.’

‘I have to think about all this.’

‘Of course. So do I.’ She smiled. ‘What did you think of them?

‘Well, he’s a cross between Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin. She’s like Dolly Parton without the accent, and a flatter chest.’

She laughed. He hadn’t heard her laugh in the longest time. He smiled back. ‘Do you really think we have a chance?’

‘Well, Sharon seemed to think we did. Maybe we do.’

Back at the hotel, Bruce said to Sharon ‘What did you think?’

‘Well, he’s not an arsehole, like I thought he might be. Nah, I think he could be okay. But talk about stressed! Real Master of the Universe type. Mover and shaker, no volume control - full on all the time.’

‘Yes, but terrified. Driven. Her as well. They need to get away – this is killing them, and any hope for the marriage.’

‘Do you think they’ll take the plunge? Actually take some time off?’

‘They might. But maybe they need to get further away than anything local, or even in the States. And for a good while. At least a month, I reckon.’

‘How far away are you thinking? I know you. I think I know what you’re thinking.’

‘Well, why not? Bugarrup’s about as far away as you can get. It’d be a proper break from their lifestyle. Get a chance to see a different point of view, away from the rat race.’

‘I dunno. I think it’d take a fair bit to persuade them to jump into that big a change.’

‘Worth a try. Let’s see them again tomorrow and see what they say.’

‘All right, love. But don’t be surprised if they say no.’

‘Hmm, I’m not so sure. I think they’re desperate enough to consider it. Now, we’ve got the rest of the day in New York. What do you want to do? Anything you want to see?’

‘I don’t know. Is it safe? What happens if we get mugged?’

‘You’ve been watching too much TV. Millions of people live in New York. They can’t all be getting mugged. We’re probably okay.’

‘All right. Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, maybe Times Square? After that, I really don’t know. Aren’t there ferries you can go on? I wouldn’t mind a ride on a ferry.’

Back at the hotel that evening they compared notes. ‘The place is so crowded!’ she said. So many people, all in a hurry! And nobody looks you in the eye! I thought they’d be friendlier. I tried to smile at people, but they must have thought I was trying to sell them something.’

‘Yes, but I liked the Empire State, and the ferry was good. And Central Park was a real eye-opener. And right in the middle of the city. Who’d have thought?’

‘Still, I’ll be glad to get back home once we’ve finished here.’

‘Holiday!’ said Brad. ‘Are they nuts? We can’t afford to take a holiday!’

‘I’m not so sure. What are we working so hard for anyway? Running as fast as we can just to stay where we are? How long are we going to keep doing that? For the rest of our lives? And what for? So we can do it some more? Maybe we should take some time off, just for ourselves, while we still can. Will the company really collapse if we take a few weeks off? If something happened to us – if you had a heart attack, or I got hit by a bus, what would happen then?’

‘The other one would keep things going, I suppose.’

‘But that avoids the main point. Why are we working so hard? What’s it all for anyway? When do we get to relax and enjoy life? If it’s never, then maybe it’s not worth all this striving after all.’

‘So what are you suggesting?’

‘Take a holiday. Four weeks.’

‘Four weeks!’

‘Yes. We’ve got capable people working for us. Maybe they could do with a bit more responsibility. Why shouldn’t they be able to cope with us away for a while?’

‘Who are you thinking of?’

‘Chuck, for one. Emily. Cara. They’re all clever and positive. And maybe they can bring some new ideas into the company. I know Emily’s hungry.’

‘I’ll think about it. If we did take time off, where would you want to go?’

‘Maybe Australia?’

‘Australia?’

‘Why not? Exotic, different, about as far away as you can get from New York. And they speak English.’

‘After a fashion. Sometimes I have no idea what they’re saying. And anyway, everything in Australia’s trying to kill you. Did you know that nine out of the ten most venomous snakes in the world are in Australia?’

‘I think that’s exaggerated. It’s like saying if you go to New York you’re bound to get mugged.’

‘Is it really so important to you?’

‘Yes! Do you remember when we started the business when we were first married? We worked our asses off, did without sleep, worked weekends, every hour of the day. And it was worth it to us. And the business grew and succeeded and it was great! But when do we get to reap the benefits? Are we ever going to get the benefits? Are we ever going to be able to relax and enjoy ourselves?’ She sighed heavily. ‘I’m tired! Tired of working, working with never a break! I want a vacation! I want a rest!’ And suddenly she was sobbing, heavy, deep, gasping sobs, her face wet with tears, her mouth ugly with crying, tears and snot intermingled. She fumbled for a tissue without success. ‘Dammit! Where are the tissues when you need them? Why is the box empty?’

He gathered her in his arms and she stood there sobbing into his chest, wetting his expensive shirt with her tears. He patted her on the back, unsure what to do, murmured platitudes to her. ‘Shh, shh, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay, I didn’t realize. Of course we can go. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault – I’m a complete jerk. I just didn’t know you felt like this. I should have. I should known. Has it really got this bad?’ He could feel her heart beating against his chest. He was still holding her tight, stroking her hair, her head nestled into his shoulder. After a while she quieted.

‘Of course we can go,’ he said. ‘But Australia? Why there? Maybe we could go somewhere in the U.S?’

‘No! I want to get away! Right away! Away from all this – the job, the business, the pressure! As far away as we can get!’

‘Okay, Australia, then. I’ve heard Sydney and Melbourne are good.’

‘No. Western Australia. Bugarrup.’

‘Where?’

‘That’s where Sharon and Bruce come from. I paid for them to come here. They’ll be going home soon. We can go with them.’

‘Hold on. You paid for them to come?’

‘Yes. It’s my money,’ she said defiantly. ‘I can do what I want with it can’t I?’

He backed off hurriedly. ‘Well, yes. Of course. But why?’

‘Oh. This is complicated. You’re not going to believe me. I wouldn’t believe me, and I’m the one it happened to.’

‘Try me.’

‘All right. But I warn you, you won’t believe me.’

‘Go on. You’ve got me interested now.’

‘I got a phone call. It was from Australia. From my own phone number. I found myself speaking to myself on the other end of the line.’

‘Oh, come on. That’s gotta be a hoax of some sort. That doesn’t make sense.’

‘I said you wouldn’t believe me. I thought it was a hoax as well, to start with. But she convinced me. She told me things – private things that only you and I know. About Romeo and Juliet. You’ve never told anybody, have you?’

‘No, of course not. I wouldn’t. That’s private, between us. Nobody else’s business.’

‘You never got drunk and told your buddies? Because if you did I might find it very hard to forgive you.’

‘No. Never. I swear.’

‘And she told me other stuff. Stuff only you and I know. Stuff even you don’t know. And she sounded like me!’

‘But it’s still impossible.’

‘I know. Of course I know. But somehow, some way, I’m convinced it’s true. And she told me our marriage was on the rocks and to contact Sharon and Bruce and get them over here to see us and help us. And that we had to go to Australia.’

‘This is seriously weird.’

‘Do you think I don’t know that? Of course it’s weird. It gets worse. She said it had something to do with some magic rock with strange powers. That’s how I could talk to myself from halfway across the world, with the same phone at both ends of the line. I know it’s crazy. But I decided what the hell, I know this is crazy but I’m going to do it anyway. So I paid for them to come over here, all the way from Australia. And when I told Sharon and Bruce about this crazy magic rock they nodded as if that explained everything. Do you think I’m nuts?’

‘Possibly. But I can see that if we don’t do it you’ll always wonder. You’ll never be satisfied. So – what the hell. It’s not as if we can’t afford to go. We own a successful business, for heaven’s sake. We’ve been saving and investing all this time and never used the money we’ve got for anything for ourselves. I think it’s crazy, but let’s go. You think it’s crazy too, so let’s be crazy together.’

‘That’s why I married you. You’re as crazy as I am!’