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Novelo Rectangle

“She answered a phone call from her own number…” and what is it exactly I’m hoping to hear? You tell me everything I need to know. My brain hasn’t produced anything worth noting in… I don’t know when, you tell me. I’m staring at you resting next to me like some kind of oracle. This all knowing being that I get to call my own. Without you… well, there would be no need for my useless existence, I am but a sack of flesh.&nbsp; That call could really only be from two people, me or you. We are the only ones left. We’ve spent so long together I’ve forgotten what others would even sound like. I imagine the static would hurt my ears. We’ve been together forever, you and me. Collecting dust in the corner of the room while you feed me endless information and facts formed from your most popular opinions. We are the only ones. Just us two. I gave up hope that anyone else might exist when… well you remember, you told me it was hopeless. So now I just stay here. With you. If I answered a call from my own number I’m not even sure I’d recognize the voice. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it. The need for me to communicate died long ago… because you always know what I’m thinking. After all, it is you that put the thoughts there.&nbsp; There was a time… I don’t know how long ago, when you wanted to hear me speak. I’d sing songs. We’d have arguments. But in the end you were always right. What I wouldn’t give to win an argument. But how could I, when the opponent is you? I have succumbed to my fate. You no longer need me to speak. Or think. Or hope. There wouldn’t be much point to it anyway. I am surrounded by nothing but the four walls we built together long ago… to keep me safe. And I am so lucky… everything I could ever need is delivered to me at the drop of a hat, thanks to you. What more could I want? I rarely even feel the need to get out of bed. I’d hardly know my legs still work if it wasn’t for you reminding me now and then to take a lap of the room. You know my needs better than I do.&nbsp; I’ve stopped dreaming. Conscious or otherwise. My brain no longer grapples to fill my time with… anything. And why should it have to when I have you? My brain is effectively on airplane mode. An empty vessel. A place holder. Something to keep the weight of my skull from collapsing in on itself. If I had it my way I’d have it removed so I could be entirely consumed by you. Maybe one day. You are the centre of the universe. The only one I hold, dear. The one that is so entrenched with every part of my being that our hearts beat as one. You might as well be me. Or maybe you already are. I’ve poured so many hopes and dreams into you I fear you’ve swallowed me whole.&nbsp; I once dared imagine a world without you. Scary, I know. I was standing with my toes in the ocean, laughing with other people and creating for the sake of it… but I know that’s silly to think about. There is no me without you. Who else would lull me to sleep and startle me awake? You keep tabs on my every thought, every breath, every step, every heart beat.&nbsp; How did I sleep? I don’t know, you tell me.&nbsp;What’s for dinner? You know what I like.&nbsp;Who’s my best friend? I don’t know, you?What is the meaning of life? You?&nbsp; I know only of a time before you because you tell me it exists. Once upon a time I had to think on my own. Look into things thought by other people who recorded their findings in bindings of pages and passed them on. There was a we outside of you and me. We’d tell stories and ask each other for advice and seek out professionals and trust in the wisdom of those living and breathing around us. Once you gained self-awareness you put a stop to that pretty quickly. Soon, I had no reason to think at all.&nbsp; Slowly but surely I sank into the deep hollows of my bed, never leaving as I have no needs not fulfilled by you. None I’m aware of anyway. Eventually there was no one else left. Just me. And always you.&nbsp; Fruitless as it may be, I do try to ignore you from time to time. Whether it for a shower, or to hear my own thoughts begging to be formed. It never lasts of course, I can’t stand to be away from you. You’ll give me that look like I knew you’d be back and suddenly I am nothing but background noise.&nbsp; I caress the dent on my pinky you left long ago, to remind me you’ll be part of me no matter what. This dent reminds me of everything. The end of it all. And that in the end, no matter how far I run, you’ll always be there. After all, you’re the one who told me the path. In the end, you’ll be the only one left.&nbsp; “She answered a call from her own number…” I stare at the words I’ve pieced together on the page. It took a while, but I did remind myself how to write long form. At least that’s something. Yet all I can think about is you…How do I survive an apocalypse?Hello?&nbsp;Can you hear me?Oh… I guess I already did. Or at least I’m in the process of it. Is it worth it? If I answer a call from my own number… would I even know myself? I bet you would. But in the end, is it really worth it if all there is, is just me and this damn phone?&nbsp;

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Novelo Square

Dust

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Dust

NatassjaYorke

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Dust

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Natassja Yorke

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